i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
