To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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