thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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