there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
it wasn't lemon gatorade
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
