Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
