I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
