ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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