dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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