I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
