you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
