i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
