We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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