Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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