im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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