lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Randomize
