My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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