do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
