My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
