...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Randomize
