its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
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