Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
