Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Randomize
