Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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