If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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