I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
