Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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