You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
