So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
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