A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
