i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Randomize
