it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
