This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
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