so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
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