...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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