Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
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