I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
