its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Randomize
