Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Randomize
