it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
