hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
