I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
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