using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Randomize
