idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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