Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
