RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
