people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Randomize
