it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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