Im at strip club and am horny
Don't make out with my wife yet
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
A+ Viking dick
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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