I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
You're like the curious george of whores
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
