youre lurking in front of me
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Do you remember whose house we're in?
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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